Revelation Day

Golden Conversations! I've come back to this chat over and over to return myself to the root of all emotion.

Me: i have had a revelation today

S :.

S :which is?

Me: that i have unwillingly moved on, and that i am ruthless and cruel once i've moved on.

S :that is a good revelation, there isnt any mellow sort of moving on

S :in time the ruthlessness would subside i think

Me: i am naturally ruthless, not on purpose

Me: and i was horrified at it

S :its sense of preservation

Me: and i am feeling guilty about moving on

S :your just keeping urself whole its a nice thing :P

S :dont

Me: how can it be..

Me: itna sa time kaise lag sakta hai (worry)

S :its like this

S :you shock ur senses into moving on

S :which leave little room for milder emotions like sympathy

S :its like getting on to safe ground

S :the truth is you dont really move on

S :you get stable and cut paraphenlia that brings you down

S :but everythign stays

Me: i hope so !

Me: because if i can move on , like really move on from this, then there will be nothing constant in my life, which is a scary thought

S :hmmm true but there is another thing

S :things end all the time

S :or change atleast

S :end is sorta final and wrong to say

S :but the point if something does not last forever does not mean its not real

Me: hmmm

Me: true

S :our parents have stayed toegther all their adult lives mostly their type of love has not remained constant

S :its changed obviuosly

S :or mayeb they have fallen over and over after periods of falling out

Me: is that even possible?

S :yes i think so

S :our moods are constantly changing even when we are "in love" we are not in loove all the time

S :its more like knowing that yeah its there when we need to go back to it

Me: hmmm

S :sometiems we we need me time, sometiems we need space, sometimes we need to be with someone constantaly

S :we confuse the promise of real love with eternal love

Me: hmmm

Me: true

Me: can it be eternal but not real?

S :i think most of it is, because we dillude and obesess over the idea too long

S :delude*

S :jo bhee

S :xD

S :i think there is a fine line

Me: it is what?

S :for someone obssessed long enough that would be reality

S :so depends upon how you define it

S :love could be an obessiosn

S :it could be an inspiration

S :i think something good needs to come out of it

Me: it could be both in different moments, obsession and inspiration i.e

S :like learning something more deeply for it to be called love

S :yeh

S :depends which is predominant

Me:

“like learning something more deeply for it to be called love”---explain?

S :hmm!

S :we know right from wrong

S :we know most of them anways and take granted most of them

S :i'll just tell what i've learnt

S :i used to be more anti social and despised most people

S :i learnt ( obviuosly not an active thought all the time :P) to like them better, to care and be open about it

S :i learnt to let go of bohat saree self appointented restictions

S :i learnt why when and only i could beleive in a god

S :sort of things i knew were "nice to haves" but wernt in me

S :i've gotten somethign good out of love

Me: haan woh to sahi hai

Me: you learn, you horizons widen

S :yeh later walee baat hey

Me: you explore yourself

Me: chalein oka

S :ur scared keh tum numb aur regid hpo jao gee?

Me: yeaa

S :meree spelings farigh hein

Me: hehehe

Me: rigid :P

S :ho saktee ho

S :yeh i thought somethign is wrong

S :woh tum ko actively counter karna ho ga :P

S :dont panic though

S :there will be lasting things as long as you understand nothing stays execatly the same

] Me: haan

Me: i know that

Me: i've adjusted to change alot

Me: lekin this was supposed to last, and now i discover that i had let it go from my end, unconsciously

Me: and i was horrified at it

S :ok

S :yeh thats reasonable horoor

S :Horror GOOD GOD

S :wth